Stop gaslighting yourself.

Ever thought to yourself:

• Why am I so tired?

• Maybe I’m not cut out for this.

• How do others make it look so easy?

Recently I was coaching a high- performing leader who was exhausted. 

She was teary in our session, wondering if her fatigue was a sign that she wasn’t cut out for her role.

About six months ago she stepped into a new role, managing a large team and was charged with rolling out new systems at the start of the company’s busy season.

And she did it.

But now she’s hit a wall.

And her impulse, before allowing herself some rest, was to wonder what was wrong with her.

Sound familiar?

I’ve worked with so many women leaders who tell me a version of the same story.

They are so used to their own tenacity and their own drive, that when a need for:

• Rest

• Support

• A slower pace

Arises, it causes them doubt and despair.

So here’s my thought, let’s stop gaslighting ourselves.

We are human, with human needs.

It’s just that we’ve been rewarded, praised, and acknowledged for our output and drive.

But now, we can learn to honor our own experiences, emotions, and needs.

Here are three practices that might help.

1. Name What You Feel Without Justifying It

Instead of saying:

“I’m probably just being too sensitive…” Say: “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, and that matters.”

Give yourself full permission to feel what you feel. Emotions don’t need to be explained away or justified to be valid - they’re signals, not problems.

2. Practice Inner Witnessing, Not Inner Criticism

Notice the voice in your head. If it's judgmental (“You shouldn’t feel this way,” “You’re overreacting”), pause and shift to a more compassionate tone. Try asking yourself:

• “What would I say to a friend who felt this way?”

• “What part of me is needing attention or care right now?”

This helps you observe your experience instead of gaslighting it.

3. Honor the messages from the body

Rebuild trust with your body.  When you get a message (“I’m hungry,”  “I’m so tired,” “I need to move.”) Take action on the message.

• If you’re hungry, don’t wait, find a snack and eat.

• If you’re tired, review your schedule for the day.  What can be saved for another day when you feel more energized?

• If you need to move, ask to have your next 1:1 outside.  Keep sunglasses off to get some vitamin D and enjoy a walk-and-talk.

This practice helps restore the mind-body connection and affirms self-trust.  

Over time, these practices can rewire your brain to trust your own perceptions and reconnect with your inner truth.

Cheering you on,

Maggie

Ps - End of year conversations coming up?  If thinking about any EOY makes your heart race or your stomach bubble, I have a new resource for you.  It’s called the Ultimate Guide to Managing Challenging People on Your Team.  It will help you feel clear and confident ahead of any difficult conversation and take the stress out of spring.